That's my take...what's yours?

an interactive blog with Michael C.

The UK Butchers...if only it happened in America!

My sympathies go out to the fallen UK soldier; the victim of a brutal crime.

But, let's imagine that the exact same attack happened in Texas. Same result? Maybe, but extremely unlikely. The moment 2 fuckies attacked someone with cleavers in broad daylight, 17 people would have pulled their concealed handguns and blown the shit out of those bastards. [not that I condone violence, but violence to stop violence has its place]

How about in the other states you ask? Well, most states permit people to carry stun guns. [i.e. non-lethal weapons - the North Eastern States need to smarten the fuck up and make them legal]  If I'm a lady/man/ladymanlady  seeing that assault go down, I'm running up with my stun gun and zappin' those fucks repeatedly until they...uhh...lay there in puddle of their own mess.

Bottom line is this, I have no idea why these guys weren't stopped by someone.  A few gents could have stepped in [maybe with a baseball bat, a hammer, fists, etc.], but apparently no-one did.  In a country where cops don't even carry guns, I'm not sure whether I'd feel safer or more fearful than if I lived in a country where I could carry a handgun/stun gun and have the right to protect myself.  [I'm totally lying, I feel much safer in the US and I believe in supporting "concealed carry" and other laws that give people the right to protect themselves]

My heart goes out to our fallen UK soldier.  Let's pray that it never happens again.

That's my take...what's yours?

 

Anti-Smoking Commercials

I'm an ex-smoker. [of cigarettes not poles f*ckies] Yes, I started young, smoked for 17 years, quit for 10, resumed for 2, then quit a few months back. [who knows, I may start again some day - I really do like it, but then get sick of it, then like it, then...]

Here's my beef [...bologna - great FEAR song].  I don't appreciate watching TV (e.g. hockey game, has-been-a-marginal-celebrity-at-some-point-in-time Apprentice, dancing with the...uhhh..."Stars", American Idle, America's got no Talent, etc.) and then some fingerless, limbless, jawless so-called "ex-smoker" pops up on a pubic service commercial talking through her neck telling me that smoking caused all her problems...I'm watchin TV and eating dinner/snacking for fuck sakes! [what next, commercial break to a shot of a herpes- ravaged penis to send a message to viewers that unprotected sex has consequences? that'll be a nice visual while I'm havin hot dogs for dinner]

First, I don't know anyone who has lost limbs, jaws, etc. from smoking. [I did know someone who had to have his ass removed due to butt cancer because he smoked one cigarette in college though - he lived next to 3 Mile Island when he was young]  Although, I have seen the odd throat-hole person who uses the gizmo to amplify their voice. [then again, who hasn't put a vibrator on their throat and mimicked Darth Vader while engaging in sexually deviant behavior, right?] 

Second, how many cigarettes did these limb-losers smoke? Jackie Gleason smoked six packs a day and he just flat out died.  I've never heard of anyone saying "yeah, I was just walkin down the street smoking my 755th cigarette of the day and my index finger fell off". [that would be pretty cool to see though]

Lastly, I just don't want to see these outlier cases of smokers on TV. [Who knows what else they've done to contribute to their situation - sure they've smoked, maybe they did crystal meth on a daily basis too, perhaps they injected draino for a buzz once in a while...] It's bad enough I have to deal with those little Geico and Aflac [Affleck] pricks! [I'd like to make them cage fight to the death, with Ben fightin the winner]

The bottom line is that people will smoke. [as they have since human interception]  Viewers will simply turn the channel [like me] to avoid watching the smoking-dead commercials. Frankly, the pubic service commercials tend to incite the rebel in me...I almost want to smart smoking again to make a statement.

 

That's my take, what's yours?

Rest In Peace Jeff Hanneman!

Well folks, Jeff Hanneman, one of the most innovative guitarists in speed metal, died last week. Me and my Sinister Witch comrades had the privilege of opening for his band for a week on their first Canadian tour back in the 80's. I originally thought he died of necrotizing fasciitis due to the spider bite that basically ate away his arm. But the official word is that he died of alcohol-related cirrhosis of the liver. He was only 49.  

I guess he was a bigger drinker than I thought [yeah like he's the only one].   Apparently he wasn't aware of the liver damage until it was too late. You were one of the greats Jeff!!! RIP and I'm sure there will be a few of us [me included] in the same boat that will be joining you soon.  I look forward to rockin' out with Slayer at the "South of Heaven" resort!

That's my take, what's yours?

Boston Marathon Bomber Wins Vacation!

NEWSFLASH!!! Joker Shitzaev just won an all-inclusive indefinite stay at Guantanamo Bay Resort and Spa! Included are private sleeping quarters, unlimited bread and water, free waterboarding, all-natural facials from fellow guests, daily/nightly lengthy discussions with resort staff, extended periods spent in yoga-like stress positions, crash courses in sleep and sensory deprivation, and of course mandatory drug injections! When asked about Joker's recent good fortune, his uncle replied "couldn't have happened to better guy". Here's wishing Joker all the best on his stay in Cuba!

That would be an appropriate turn of events.

 

That's my take, what's yours?

American Idol (judges & constestants) can suckit!!!

I haven't tuned into this show for quite a while. [what a waste of time]

But tonight, as it turned out, was Beatles night and I had nothing to watch after Survivor [I really only watch to hear Jeff Probst say "I'll go tally the votes" so I can say "I'll go tally my wacker", yes I still laugh after all these years at my cheesy joke - go tally your wacker haaard Jeff!]

First, Simon Cowell was a genius to get out when he did. [creator Simon Fuller should have pulled the plug on the show after he left]

Second, nobody on this show has really impressed me since Carrie Underpants. [I picked her cuntry pants to win early, straight and haaard]

Third, not one of the contestants sang a Beatles song with any rock influence or emotion!  All I heard were renditions of "The Beatles on Broadway!" [at least Constantine had a great rockin voice and sang with emotion...even though he had to settle with a Broadway career (not so bad though Constantine)]

Now, for my review of the current judges...

Keith [I liked you better when your were drunk and didn't give a shit about pleasing every person on Earth]

Randy [dawg? nuff said after all these years]

Mariah [you don't have to sugarcoat critiques - you are the most honest of the bunch, just tell it like it is]

Minaj [after your music "career", may I suggest that you remake a great flick but title it "Niki Does Dallas" - maybe then we can see you on screen without having to wonder why goo spews out of your mouth so freely]

that's my take...what's yours?

 

Comments (2)

Monday Night Football! Dam that Rivers!

Well I was going to switch channels and watch grass grow at the half, but then I thought...there are only 2 QBs that could come back from 24-0 at the half (Peyton and Brady).

So I left MNF on.  On the kickoff, I [like every other fan] said "if the Broncos score on the first drive and the defense holds, we've got a game".  And that's just what happened...over and over again!

Not that I hate the Chargers, I just can't stand Phillip Rivers.  When he gloated after narrowly beating the Patriots with Matt Cassels at the healm (when Brady went out for the year in the first game), I lost any respect that I had for him [ok, I didn't respect him in the first place - I think he and Romo outta open up a chain of rib shacks].  The loss couldn't have happened to a better guy.

Thanks for the show Broncos!  Phil? How does it feel to have your mouth washed out with Peyton?

That's my take, what's yours?

 

 

Comments (3)

Give a Standing Ovation for the NFL Referees Return!!!

The replacement refs' officiating has gotten progressively worse over the past couple of weeks, capped off by the games on Sunday and Monday nights.

First, the Patriots got shafted against the Ravens.  An imaginary holding call on Gronkowski and a non-existent pass interference call on Edelman (negating a first down) on back-to-back plays in the second quarter.  Neither Al nor Chris agreed with the calls either.  What a momentum killer.  Then there was the Ravens TD with pass interference by the Ravens, which was overruled by the other ref (i.e. no pass interference).  Result?  TD!  [Why throw the flag if there was no pass interference?]

Let's not forget the offside call on the Patriots during the Ravens punt which the refs wrongly enforced giving the Ravens a first down instead of forcing 4th down, or the questionable field goal call at the end of the game.  [I still think there should be cameras facing upwards on the uprights.]

The icing on the cake was MNF and the Packers getting robbed of a win.  First, the interception in the 4th quarter by the Packers deep in the Seahawks zone should have been upheld - there was no "roughing the quarterback".  Second, the pass interference call on the Packers later that drive should have gone against the Seahawks.  And lastly, the winning TD catch by the Packers, I mean the Seahawks, to end the game was absurd.  Simultaneously, one ref called INT and the other called TD.  How can a guy who brings the ball into his chest with both hands not be judged to have caught the ball, rather a guy with one arm wedged in between the arms of the guy who caught it be given the reception?!?

I will be glad to see the old refs back tonight and they deserve a standing-O.  The replacements were terrible.  They made a lot of calls and non-calls favoring the home teams and many of those calls were simply absurd.  [I guess it's easier to go for the home team and keep the crowd on your side.]  Refs shouldn't be deciding games, the players should be and although the returning refs will make the odd bad call/non-call, it won't be anything like what we've seen so far this year.

The poor job done by the replacement refs did result in an NFL first however...never before has an NFL quarterback thrown an interception in the end zone to win a game.

That's my take, what's yours?

 

Comments (2)

Jesus was Married? WTF!

According to the media, there's a report out there that a piece of papyrus [i.e. "paper" for non-ancient-Greeks] says that Jesus proclaimed he had a wife!!!

Blasphemy I say! Ridiculing Christianity? People must die! Strap a bomb to yourself and blow up anyone guilty by association!!! [just like our Muslim comrades]

Really?!? Who cares? Go on with your life and concentrate on more important things.

That's my take, what's yours?

 

Comments (2)

Remembering 9/11

I still remember exactly where I was that Tuesday morning eleven years ago today, when I saw smoke and flames billowing from the windows of the World Trade Center towers. [I'm sure all of you do as well] But enough about me, everyone's got a story and today's not the day for another one. Today is about remembrance. I'd like to salute those listed below...you and your actions will never be forgotten!

  • those who lost their lives during the attacks on the towers and the Pentagon, including those who chose to jump out of the towers instead of being burned alive
  • the passengers and crew of Flight 93 who sacrificed their lives to limit more death and destruction
  • the police officers and firefighters who put others' lives before their own
  • the paramedics and volunteers who dealt with the aftermath
  • the survivors
  • and the friends and families of all those above

I'd also like to commend Mayor Rudy Guliani [what a pillar of strength] and President George W. Bush [although some people may not like the choices he made, he took action when his country needed someone to do something].

That's my take, what's yours?

Comments (2)

I Hate US TV Olympic Coverage!!!

And this is why...

I was watching a 400M female swimming event [When were women permitted to participate in the Olympics?] and the French girl took the gold, the US silver and the UK the bronze.

The NBC commentator announced the winning medalists, then focussed on the fact that the US silver medalist set a new "US record"...never mentioning the fact that the French GOLD medalist set a new Olympic record...WTF?

That's my take, what's yours?

 

Comments (3)
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